Courtroom Drama Connoisseur T-Shirts

"I'll tell you why I shot him if you promise you won't laugh."

Trial by Media

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"We won!"

"Now that's a win."

Barristers

Sue the Author 3PM

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

Yawning barristers in court

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

'You are both charged with quarrelling without a license!'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"They're class action figures."

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"