Courtroom Drama Connoisseur T-Shirts

"I'll tell you why I shot him if you promise you won't laugh."

Trial by Media

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"We won!"

Sue the Author 3PM

"Now that's a win."

Barristers

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

Yawning barristers in court

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'You are both charged with quarrelling without a license!'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

Sue The Bastards

"They're class action figures."

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'