Courtroom Commando T-Shirts

'Well, that's our case.'

'Good news, Mrs. Gibson'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Court's in recess!'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"Bailiff."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"We make crime pay."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Justice 4 Ron

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'