Courtroom Warriors T-Shirts

"Megan, will you please prepare our client for cross examination?"

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Planet of the Lawyers

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

"At least he's honest about it..."

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"What makes me a great attorney, as opposed to an adequate one? - My brother, the judge."

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

I Litigate Therefore I Am.

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

Criminal Stupidness