Courtroom Comedy Connoisseur Pillows

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Not guilty?"

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

Yawning barristers in court

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

"Impartiality becomes you."

"The court granted me a new identity!"

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

"Can you hear me now?"

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

"I didn't consider it hacking. I thought of it as getting a sneak preview of their content."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

Counsel's Opinion.

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

"Let's take in a trial."