Courtroom Champion Pillows

'I was going to text you an apology for medical negligence ... but my phone is in there.'

'This paperwork for a sing case. Why ever do they call it a 'brief'?'

"This is my lawyer, my lawyer's lawyer and my lawyer's lawyer's lawyer!"

"I could tell you all the secrets to my success as an attorney, but then I'd have to bill you"

All lawyered up and no place to go

Antonin Scalia

Lawyer's in and out boxes say pro bono & anti bono.

Sports Lawyers

'Everything is pro bono after the first 100 grand.'

'I move to have all charges, against my client, dismissed. He's paying me handsomely to defend him, and he expects me to make a bold move like that.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

I love Lawyers

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I object!" "Overruled!"

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Yawning barristers in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

I Litigate Therefore I Am.

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'