Court-side Chuckles Pillows

'I'll take everything at the division line. You get the rest.'

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'I got a suspended sentence.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity."

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

'My client doesn't wish to answer any more questions.'

'... Yeah. That just means we aren't much good.'

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

"Not good, your honor. My client is supposed to be executed a week before that court date."

"The defendant is a danger to society and poses a flight risk."

'My client is requesting a little more wiggle room,your Honor.'

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

'Is your client qualified to give a urine sample.'

Low Class Action Suit

"Case dismissed."

'To save the state the expense of a trial, I thought I'd run off to Spain.'

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

'If the verdict is guilty, Mr. Foreman, simply say 'Guilty.' Please refrain from shouting 'Yer outta here'....'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilt to the charge of sexual harassment by reason of a testosterone surge.'

Lawyer Xing

"Just practice half-court shots - all other shots have lost their meaning."

'It's all Dewey's fault, coach. Rick was showing me how he can fit an entire basketball in his mouth when Dewey walked up and slapped him on the back.'

'Ask your partner if he'd be interested in a spin-off show in the time slot after yours.'

'Of all times to have a dance tune get stuck in my head.'

'Your honor, when considering sentencing please note that my client drove a hybrid car that gets 80 MPG.'

'Just as a precautionary measure; is there any way you can get rid of that mask?'

"I always chuckle over how truthful a witness becomes when I drag out my ol' crystal ball."

Law Firm of Stonado & Stonato - Personal Injury

"Calm down! This wood doll is the best attorney ourcompany ever had."

'Being a royal court jester hasn't just been all glitz and glamor you know. Oh sure, there's been a lot of laughter on the outside but tehre's been a lot of crying,dysentry,cholera,gout and bubonic plague on the inside.'