Court Entertainer Mugs

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

Pre-Minstrel Tension

Gary turns 40.

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

'I missed work due to a rib injury from belly-laughing at your jokes.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"A great quarter always puts the old man in a jocular mood."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

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'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'The highest court in the land.'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

The hour of justice

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

Counsel examining witness

"Let's take in a trial."

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

A Court Reporter's Pocket Knife

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'