Couples Dynamics T-Shirts

'Oh, for goodness sake! Can't you see he's just trying to bait you?'

It would be hours before Jack realized that his wife was not being kinky but had, in fact, gone shopping.

"Bad weather is expected."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

Mixed Doubles.

Family with pets.

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

Home Business - Electric Stapler.

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

Awkward First Dates

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

"We used to entertain a great deal."

'On second thought dear, I think it's your turn to make breakfast.'

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

"Be careful, Darlene. He's wearing a ring."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

'Oh, we don't keep score in our marriage, Dr. Downs, but if we did, I'd be winning 212 to 137.'

'It's nice to go hiking together. It gives us a chance to compare notes and figure out what the kids are plotting!'

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

One Way - Yield

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

Home Business - Newspaper Ad.

'Dad, this is something I knocked up in the shed.'

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."