Couple With A Pet Mugs

'No doubt about it - he'd make a lovely Home Guard dog!'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'Super Dog'

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

Chasebook

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

Snooze buttons for cat owners

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

Pet Entertainers

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

Dog History

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

'They used to call me 'Fluffy', but it's been 'Lucky' ever since I survived the spin cycle.'

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

"Fetch! What about a please?"

"Yeah, going to the dog park is good, but I must prefer a more intimate walk with my Master..."

I know. Isn't it funny how people and their pets start to look alike?

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

'Have you seen little Spotty?'

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

Dog on leash not able to reach tree

"That's impressive, but I asked you to roll over."

His master's voice

'Hello, is that Dugdame and Son's, the plumber?'

"I think you better let me drive, I haven't renewed your license yet."

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

'It all started with them sending me outside to do my 'business'.'