Family Member With A Pet Mugs

"I wasn't dead yet."

I know. Isn't it funny how people and their pets start to look alike?

'It all started with them sending me outside to do my 'business'.'

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

'Super Dog'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Your love gives me strength."

Chasebook

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

Dog History

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"Fetch! What about a please?"

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

'Too old to climb curtains, but young enough to climb on a lap. What's not to love.'

"Yeah, going to the dog park is good, but I must prefer a more intimate walk with my Master..."

This is Roscoe, our first pooch

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

"I think he may have progressed beyond just digging holes!!"

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

'You see, Doctor, we've never had any children...

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."