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"We never talk anymore."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

She - Interpreter - He.

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

"Arthur, I need my space."

Duvet nailed to the floor.

No, they're not divorced --- She said that's her "ox-husband."

"See how controlling he is?!"

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"You must learn to let go."

"You see?"

A woman thinks of flowers and a man thinks of a prison cell.

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

'Sharing the same skin-type is fine. But, as a basis for a stable marriage...'

"What do you mean I never take you anywhere? We're here, aren't we?"

"Whose turn is it to be happy?"

"You're both miserable wretches, but I suppose that's beside the point."

"After 20 years of marriage, don't you think it's time you stopped calling your husband 'that Harold person'?"

"I thought I could change him but he's the same dog he's always been."

Evolution of love

"How did his last remark make you feel?"

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

"Yes, this is exactly how wars start—because of someone's insensitivity!"

'It'll get better, Vinny - my marriages always have a bad first quarter.'

Interpreters.

"Yeah, well it hurts when you stab me with your words."

Man sleeps instead of reading 'The Art of Listening.'

Arguments Won: Her and Him.

'Well, if I'm being honest, I think he's a raging narcissist.'

"How come you only loosen up when you've got a cold?"