County Councillor Gifts

"I'm thinking of standing for the county council. But will they stand for you?"

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

Danger Falling Leaves

'Your copyright is invalid, you spelled (c) wrong.'

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

"It's come to my attention that our sister city has been borrowing our city's clothes without even asking."

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

The Mayor Alonzo Q. Furdweiller Pothole. Looks like the mayor and the city council are bickering again.

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

'It's the council's flood defence system.'

"Having concluded, Your Highness, an exhaustive study of this nation's political, social, and economic history, and after extensive examining, Sire, the unfortunate events leading to the present deplorable state of the realm, the consensus of the Council is that Your Majesty's only course, for the public good, must be to take the next step."

Power corrupts: McDonalds.

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

I'm no longer welcome at the county fair.

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

Roller skater see a sign: Nightmareville Pop. 5679 Beware Of Government Red Tape

"I suppose you’re wondering why I summoned you, minion." "Not really, boss." "I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: bikinis are getting smaller and smaller, so small, in fact, that they no longer hide anything." "I think it’s about time our cafe took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay." "That’s why I’ve arranged for you to hand ‘campaign donations’ to several city councilmembers." "This doesn’t have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it?" "People should never have t

'Our drug cartel would like to help Lambeth Council fight the cuts, respecting criteria of inclusion and diversity.'

"Paved in gold? Oh my, no. With out crumbling infrastructure we're doing well if the streets are paved at all."

Gentrification vs Manchester...

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

'We did it, Dad! We won the heaviest frog award!'

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

Mrs. Fergensun unfortunately was crushed before getting what would surely have been a prize winning tomato to the county fair.

'His tags were so neat we decied to employ him'

Crybaby

"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."

'Wait a minute! Aren't you the chap who refused planning permission on the St., Mary's church extension?'

'Just take a smidgeon off.'