County Councillor Gifts

"I'm thinking of standing for the county council. But will they stand for you?"

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

Danger Falling Leaves

'Your copyright is invalid, you spelled (c) wrong.'

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"Having concluded, Your Highness, an exhaustive study of this nation's political, social, and economic history, and after extensive examining, Sire, the unfortunate events leading to the present deplorable state of the realm, the consensus of the Council is that Your Majesty's only course, for the public good, must be to take the next step."

'It's the council's flood defence system.'

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

Roller skater see a sign: Nightmareville Pop. 5679 Beware Of Government Red Tape

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

"Paved in gold? Oh my, no. With out crumbling infrastructure we're doing well if the streets are paved at all."

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

Gentrification vs Manchester...

Mrs. Fergensun unfortunately was crushed before getting what would surely have been a prize winning tomato to the county fair.

'We did it, Dad! We won the heaviest frog award!'

'His tags were so neat we decied to employ him'

'Our drug cartel would like to help Lambeth Council fight the cuts, respecting criteria of inclusion and diversity.'

"I suppose you’re wondering why I summoned you, minion." "Not really, boss." "I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: bikinis are getting smaller and smaller, so small, in fact, that they no longer hide anything." "I think it’s about time our cafe took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay." "That’s why I’ve arranged for you to hand ‘campaign donations’ to several city councilmembers." "This doesn’t have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it?" "People should never have t

"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."

'Wait a minute! Aren't you the chap who refused planning permission on the St., Mary's church extension?'

'Just take a smidgeon off.'