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'It's a quarter-to-three and there's no one in the place except ewe and me.'

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"It's God's country, if your god wears camouflage and dips tobacco."

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

'I took your advice and got a long little doggy.'

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

"I'm putting you on country music."

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

'I'll never forget the night I saw you across the crowded room of a dusty ol' honky tonk.'

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

"The times – They have a changed."

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

Towny Music Night.

Dear Farmer Brown - we really don't like you. The Animals.

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

"It's bad, Doc. the voices in my head are singing country western."

A Modern Day Cowboy and his Horse.

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

Where the deer and the antelope play.

'The grass is always bluer to a banjo pickin bovine!'

"This machine kills fascists, and this machine kills fascists, and this one is just a guitar."

Cowpunk

'This next song is called Reindeer farts in my face all night.'

The Invention of Country Music.

"Not tonight, hon—I've got a heartache."

Ray Price, Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

Looks like you put too much dosie in that doe, Earl.