Counseling Patron Mugs

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

Queen of Quinoa

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"I have 25 patients in my counselling group...Mrs Sherman, Mr Martin, and Mr Martins 23 other personalities."

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

Wanna talk about it?

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Personal Relationship Counsellor

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

"You must learn to let go."

Please Wait and wait and wait.

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

"Oh him, that's Ron. He's a permanent fixture in here."

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

Weight of the world on your shoulders.

"Just iced tea, please. Hot coffee goes right through me."

'Don't you be dissing the Ho' now!'

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

'I thought being married to a rodeo clown would be more fun.'

'Your problem seems to be depression or angst...Depression I charge £75 a session angst is £125.'

"I feel we've had a good session today."

'Just because everyone applauded when you dropped your lunch tray in the cafeteria, doesn't mean that you should pursue a career in show business.'

"Death, death, death! That's all he ever talks about!"

'There's nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'