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Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Anonymous

'Just because everyone applauded when you dropped your lunch tray in the cafeteria, doesn't mean that you should pursue a career in show business.'

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

'So how did your cruises to separate continents work out?'

"I was a war baby. As soon as I was born my parents started fighting."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

X-ray Psychology.

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"I have 25 patients in my counselling group...Mrs Sherman, Mr Martin, and Mr Martins 23 other personalities."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

Psychologist's receptionist to man: 'I'm afraid I cancelled your appointment - the doctor has decided you don't exist.'

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

'I want to start by having you take separate staycations.'

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

"She can forgive Nixon, but she can't forgive me."

Personal Relationship Counsellor

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

'Therapy in L.A.'

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

'His ego needs lipo suction!'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I don't believe in myself any more.'