Couch To 5k Challenger T-Shirts

'Hey, wait for me!'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Lawnmower

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

Indoor Football

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'The economy today got a boost from Alan Greenspan, who said it's O.K. to be irrationally exuberant.'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

"Great - really great - but I'd still like to get out of the house every once in a while."

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

"When did this game get started?"

'I need to do more exercising? Are you kidding?! I'm a kind of marathon runner! I run from the bed to the fridge, then to the table, back to the fridge and then to the TV, back again to the fridge and retour to the TV day by day!'

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

"Have we scored yet?"

They called her the Olympic Flame because she never went out.

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"