Couch Surfing Pillows

Voice Recognition TV.

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

Station 2131: Do you want to start over?

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'You dropped the remote, dummy! I can't reach it! Dale, you get it.'

'I know I promised to get off my backside and take up a sort once the Olympics had finished - but it ain't over yet!'

Binge Watch

"At least he died doing what he loved."

Low-Energy Drinks

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

'Ah, business as usual.'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

Watchdog

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

"When did this game get started?"

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'

Edna's Couch and Breakfast.

"Thanks so much for letting me crash here, I really appreciate how unassertive you are."

'Try putting a remote in one hand aan a beer in the other and see if he starts up.'

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

Bed and Breakfast and Couch and Coffee

Hank had been asleep for hours, but amazingly his clicker finger kept going.

"This is for all the things you have already heard about via social media."

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

"Donald switched off in 1985 and i never bothered to switch him on again."

'Tonight, one of you is going home.'

"Anywhere with cable T.V. will be fine."

Mud Slinging