Couch Potatologist Gifts

"You need to lose some weight. Go and see if you can find the remote control."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

Happy Brithday

"I made him out of my mom's mashed potatoes. Since there's no snow, I had to improvise."

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

Watchdog

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

Easy Listening for lazy people.

'I wait on him hand and foot and foot and foot and ...'

"Check and see if the remote's in there."

"I know it looks like he’s doing nothing, but he’s very busy in his head."

We never go out anymore.

"They went together, doctor!"

"In order to survive the shark needs to move constantly."

"Her name is 'Precious', but her nickname is 'why we can't have nice things.'"

"If only we could stay home and TiVo the Carlsons."

"I'm not really a finicky eater, but someone has to maintain some standards around here."

'Put it on my 'to do' list...'

Invention to hit the TV.

The New World

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"Devin agrees with the president. Americans are dreamers too."

"Fox again! C'mon man. Try the History Channel for once. Educate yourself dude."

'I'll never forget when we first met and goodness knows I'll keep trying!'

'I tried jogging once, but it frothed up my beer.'

"Let's fight obesity - left leg up..."

'Could you change the channel? This program even put the bird to sleep.'

'The Pharaohs had gold and jewellery as burial objects. When I'm dead, I want the TV remote control to get buried with me.'

Kids' Inactivity Centre.

'Of course I respect the bear's habitat ...I just didn't realize it was my livingroom.'

"Helpful, him? He'd mow the carpet and vac the lawn!"

"Will you stop saying 'Back in the Day'? Back in EVERY day you were just lounging about in that chair, like you do now!"