Couch Potato Vibe Expert Pillows

Gagglebox

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

American Idle.

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

Unconditional Loveseat

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

Homo Zapiens

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

'Whatever, crosswords are stupid.'

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

Oh, the usual. They're watching 'American Idol' and I'm watching Americans idle.

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

Happy Brithday

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

"In da house"

"I've decided to uninstall your personality and upload mine."

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Working from Home.

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

It's hammerhead time

"Sometimes I wonder if it was worth all the trouble you went through to get yourself cloned."