Couch Potato Sage Gifts

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

'She'll never look for me here.'

Love is when you watch television together.

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

'Och lye the news'

Tunnel of TV

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

Succession 2