Couch Potato Resister Gifts

Workout motivation.

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Now that's Real TV!'

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

'He's at a very impressionable age.'

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

Football Accident.

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

"I'm watching the hockey game. The score is 4 nothing for the Zamboni driver."

"You complete me."

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

Wake up love it's time to go to bed!

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"I want to be so successful that it ruins my life."

Two bored males hanging out on a tatty sofa.

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."