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Workout motivation.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Now that's Real TV!'

'He's at a very impressionable age.'

Starvation Watching

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

Football Accident.

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

Lockdown Brain

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

"You complete me."

"I'm watching the hockey game. The score is 4 nothing for the Zamboni driver."

'What a Summer of Sport, eh?'

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

Wake up love it's time to go to bed!

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

Two bored males hanging out on a tatty sofa.

"I want to be so successful that it ruins my life."

"When I was your age, I was a lot older."

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."