Couch Potato Ponderer Pillows

"It's really frightening that all these infomercials are for things I really want."

"Whay do they think about all day?"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

American Idle.

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

Love is when you watch television together.

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'Och lye the news'

Tunnel of TV

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'