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Snooker cue changes the channels on tv.

"Let's get married in the morning...then if it doesn't work out, we haven't blown the entire day."

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

Homo Zapiens

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

Unconditional Loveseat

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

'Now that's Real TV!'

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

Couch Potatoes

Man watching football on T.V. in armchair made of beer cans.

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

"In da house"

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

"I've decided to uninstall your personality and upload mine."

'Whatever, crosswords are stupid.'

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

'My arms are getting shorter.'