Couch Collectors T-Shirts

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

Hell No Kitty

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

'Less spare change under the cushion is my leading economic indicator!'

Cinzia Baffi's Time-And-Temp Chair

"This one seems perfect, but do you have it in red?"

The Milbrook Verney chair in literature. The C.K. Frebish endowment for footnotes.

Eventual Motion Machine

"Our cautions to the wind dear?.. I said let's throw our CAUTIONS to the wind."

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."

"I've only just started practicing. I'm hoping the proceeds from these first few sessions will pay for a couch."

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

"Why did we buy such huge furniture?"

Sale. We need something that will meet our growing backsides.

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

"You need the exercise, so I bought you a bigger remote."

'Hope you like the oversized furniture. It helps me feel young.'

"I know that in these bad times nobody is hiring and workers are still being laid off, but what will be your excuse when the economy recovers?"

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

'I've been talking to my imaginary friend Carlos about this, and he thinks you're the wrong doctor to treat my delusional syndrome.'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

'Darling! This isn't a property programme at all! It's the view from our living room window..'

'Plus, you get to keep any change you happen to find under the cushions.'

American Idle