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"I'm stuffed. Why do I always eat so much. "

TV-Man

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'I don't trust him - he's got beady eyes.'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

Indoor Football

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

"When did this game get started?"

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

Eventual Motion Machine

'You went to obedience school and you're still not allowed on the couch? What a gyp.'

"We've just crossed the line between binge viewing and OCD viewing."

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

'It's topped with things I found under my sofa cushions.'

"Have we scored yet?"