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'Make it snappy. I prefer my couch at home.'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"Bloody hell!"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"China now says it will withdraw its opposition to the missile-defense shield if the F.B.I. builds it."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

"When did this game get started?"