Cost Of Living Enthusiast T-Shirts

Why the modern day 'Prodigal Son' won't get far.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

You Are Here

'Take a letter,'

'I do my best work when I'm being paid a huge salary.'

"Maybe Earth's primordial soup did contain polyester."

'The sedative wears off in an hour. With the attached transmitter we can monitor his trading volume and patterns, commissions and mating rituals.'

'G-go ahead, F-Fred; p-pre-announce our disappointing 3rd quarter.'

'Phys Ed -- but I minored in philosophy.'

". . . And you thought last month's sales figures just happened?"

"Years ago, you hardly heard anyone mention million'."

Euro crisis: abandon ship.

"Uh, oh! Inflation!"

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

'The position carries no salary but does provide for full medical and dental coverage, with three weeks vacation.'

Giant 'NO' with a small man holding a 'Yes',

'What wine goes with an enormous expense account?'

'I don't really have a personal best. I'm just sort of OK all the time.'

"That's just the meds kicking in."

"The salary is excellent and the benefits are outstanding. So... which would you prefer?"

"Hi, this is Bill Gates. Time to buy some new software."

"Personally I don't think our salaries are too high - I see them as legitimate compensation for the emotional trauma we suffer due to the public's disdain for our high salaries."

Bear Market.

'This is goodbye, Goopta -- I've decided to make a career move to the Scientologists.'

'Today, tax free municipals rose...on news that what's important is not how much you earn, but how much you get to keep!'

"Fixed-term contracts, social benefits, pension plans, health insurance. . . we have nothing to complain about. And that's why we're on strike!"

'Let me get this straight: The job comes with a full health care package? Including a dental plan? Impressive! What kind of salary are we talking?'

Money is the Incentive.

"I'll let you know the meaning of life when I'm damn good and ready!"

'It doesn't bother me that I don't know what I'm doing. I'm paid vast amounts of money.'

'This Investment Portfolio is an extravagant waste of money! Oh hold on... that's my expense account!'

'Earnings per share, then an asterisk. I like that.'

"For the first year, you get a cost-of-living raise every three months. Then, you hit the donut hole."

'It was easy for me to lose weight! They took away my expense account!'