Cost-conscious Patient Mugs

"Surgery up here is free!"

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

'Yes, high prices saves lives - the more a patient pays, the quicker the recovery!'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'The operation will be 50% less if YOU do the paperwork.'

'Mr. Pickens in room 261 insists on a second opinion regarding your bill.'

I can get you a great inexpensive knee operation in India! Here's my card.

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

'You would save money on the long run if you'd let me throw in an autopsy with the procedure.'

"With what I'm paying you I should have a private waiting room."

Sale.

"Doc, my arm is killing me, but I don't know how I can afford care. My deductible is through the roof and I just got laid off my job."

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

Crisis Buzz.

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

Man bites on stick - "That other painkilling method is of course a lot more expensive."

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

'This is going to hurt, I'm afraid. . .I can't afford to pay.'

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

"I'm going to prescribe a generic placebo."

'I know you're trying to keep health care costs down - but what kind of life support systems are these?'

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

Avocado Prices

'Doc, before you jab it to me, what's the sticker price?'

January Sales

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

'This pill you take twice a day before meals. . . this pill you take right after I tell you what those pills cost.'

"I can't afford probiotics . . . How much amateurbiotics?"

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

"We have our round cuts and these are our budget cuts."

"With the economy the way it is, I thought I'd start a garden. One million vegetables shoudl be enough."