Cosmos Comedian Prints

It feels like the world is spinning because the world IS spinning, you dope.

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupididy' and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein. Our colleague and I were going to debate, with me arguing the universe is finite and he's arguing that it's infinite. But he pulled out saying the debate organizers are biased against his position. He didn't believe they were simply advising folks to arrive early when they said "space is limited."

Trump has his finger on the button....

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Houston, we have a problem."

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

Clown God

'Gravity...Go figure!'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'You caught it, you gut it!'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

The Origins of Everything

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

Science fiction fans on other planets