Cosmic Humorist Prints

"Hold that thought. I have to go take a number five."

'Are you trying to give me a heart attack??!!'

'Did you hear about Pluto? - He got demoted to 'dwarf planet' for noncompliance.'

'What do you mean, you can't look at the Milky Way because you're lactose-intolerant?'

'Dear Lord, for what we are about to receive, may we be truly thankful...'

"The Center of the Universe? ....Speaking!"

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Y'all look like dog people to me."

"Sorry to bother you again but I forgot to ask you to fill out our service evaluation questionnaire."

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

"I think my 5 years of astronaut training might have been a bit of a waste."

Black Hole Research Institute - Office only has IN tray - no OUT tray.

'Will you stop sulking? -- I didn't eclipse you on purpose!'

Two astronauts on the moon look up to see a cow jumping over them.

"I don't believe in these idiots any longer. You now can call me an atheist."

"Shall we put it in play?"

Watch for falling meteors.

'Better keep away from Earth. Remember what we were told about those speed cameras?'

Happy Earthday

Crouching God Hidden Buddha

'Never mind that world peace stuff -- have you seen our LUGGAGE anywhere?'

'Another one uninhabited. That's three down and several hundred billion to go.'

'I'd steer clear of them on the forth of July!'

"Whatever you do, don't let them know our planet has oil."

"Hey! - What's this I hear about you ECLIPSING me?"

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

Cosmic Weekly - New Galaxy Discovered! Alf Centauri.

Alien window cleaner...

'Could I switch to bacteriology for awhile? - The stars are REALLY making me feel insignificant.'

"...and almost all of it is dark matter."

"Ground control? It seems we have found the origin of the universe."

Seances of the future

Voyeurs guide to the Cosmos (stars in the shape of a sexy woman).

He says he needs space.

"I'm sorry but, due to the overcrowding situation, reincarnation is your only option."