Cosmology Buff Pillows

Stephen Hawking

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

At the Museum

Albert Einstein

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Apples for sale

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"Houston, we have a problem."

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

Bermuda Triangles

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

Archimedes, Galileo, Copernicus

"Not now, Oliver."

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

"Don't be sad, Bud. These decisions are so political."

'I'm going to Venus. He's going to Mars.'

You must be this tall.

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

Corona Funeral

"That concludes my presentation on popular music and alternative energy."