Cosmic Quip Enthusiast Gifts

Did the earth move?

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Clown God

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

Science fiction fans on other planets

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

The Origins of Everything

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

Alien flies in a spaceship out of a postbox.

Shoot For The Moon

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'