Cosmic Marketer Prints

The Death Star gets a marketing makeover.

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Houston, we have a problem."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

God Sneezes Out Creation

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

The Adventures of God

Clown God

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'You caught it, you gut it!'

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Science fiction fans on other planets

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

The Origins of Everything

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

Shoot For The Moon

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'