Cosmic Humor Aficionado Pillows

''Peace and brotherhood'? You bet, pal -- Just put this nice hat on.'

'Honest -- I had no idea they could jump that high!'

'Now, for the sake of argument, let's assume the sun will explode a week from Thursday.'

"Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

God Sneezes Out Creation

Clown God

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

Black Hole Research Institute - Office only has IN tray - no OUT tray.

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"We've come all this way to destroy their planet only to find they're doing it themselves!!!"

'Don't be silly - the sun won't burn itself our for another 5 billion years. Bedsides, the Earth will have been smashed to smithereens by asteroids long before that.'

"Sorry to bother you again but I forgot to ask you to fill out our service evaluation questionnaire."

"Shall we put it in play?"

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Mars Rover

First Contact

"Does someone want to go on a space walk? Who wants to go on a space walk....?"

"Wow! - String Theory must be true after all..!"

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

You are Here

'Hey, I said I was an enchanted prince! I mentioned nothing about being from earth!'

"That's want I call a meteor shower!"

Black hole-in-the-wall at Jodrell Bank

"I knew it!"