Cosmic Comedy Enthusiast Pillows

Astronaut dowsing on new planet.

NASA, 'Now, don't panic, but I think we got a parking ticket.'

'I've had a toothache for the last million light years, take me to your dentist.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Clown God

'Gravity...Go figure!'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

The Origins of Everything

Science fiction fans on other planets

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

Shoot For The Moon

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

Alien flies in a spaceship out of a postbox.