Cosmic Culture T-Shirts

"Underweird bras."

Alien David statue

Hair Crop Circle

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

'No, dear. I don't think the star on the Christmas tree will implode, and suck our living room into a black hole.'

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"

"Whoa. Have you lost weight, professor?"

Climbing to the moon

"It's okay, fellahs - only another bloody statue of Gormley by Gromley!"

Terry, to me! I'm in space!

'I hope there isn't art as we know it on other planets.'

"So this is where it all ends up. . ."

Still life on Mars.

World Cup Universe.

He's very defensive about his personal space.

Cheerleaders from another planet

'Well, it's going great so far but if they ever find out that er are chocolate coated with a minty centre we could be in serious trouble!'

Mars-A-Lago

"Could you help me with this?"

'What the?! Look at THIS!'

Investment firm: National division/International Division/Universal Division.

'This won't hurt a bit...'

'I don't deny that my client murdered a man, but his moon was in Taurus, folks, His moooooon was in Taurus!'

"I don't know what it is, but it's big and I'm putting it on ebay!"

Portrait of Bette Davis

"I thought I'd make a killing selling food on the moon due to lack of competition, but no one has been here since 1972."

Bowling ball earth

"The asteroid has what looks like a small rear end on the back of it."

'Brilliant disguise, Agent X.'

People were given a vast universe to teach them humility and they invented astrology to make it all about them.