Cosmetic Treatment Explorer Pillows

'Botox is one thing, but that's the last time I go to a liposuction party!'

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

PROBLEM AREAS

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

"Couldn't you have waited till she was smiling before you injected the botox?"

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

"Rare, medium or well done?"

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

"The perfume is only £20, the antidote is £250!"

Dating is so expensive...

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

'It's more like a very good used you.'

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

Twig! Please come into my bathroom! Have you been using my makeup? You're paranoid! Everything is in its place. Why would you accuse me? Just a hunch.

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

Obstetrics, Gynecology and Waxing.

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

Virtual Super-Model.

"And this is what we use for the economy liposuction."

'Now you do realise that we're unable to cure your ugliness don't you?'

"This is more than a look. This is a context."

'Why don't you look like Jennifer Aniston, you're the same age.'

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

"In your case we’ll begin the facelift with an incision behind your right ear and extend it into the waiting room."

"What do you recommend for yellow teeth?"

Breast Implants: 'Watch this Space.'

"What are you going in there for?... Can't you just soak them in a glass of bleach?"

'I think I'm seeing double again!'

"Are we admiring a sunrise or a sunset?"

"I just got back from my plastic surgery consultation. The surgeon is also a football coach in his free time."

"That reminds me, Hon. Your Botox shipment arrived yesterday."

"Have you been giving the dog a make over again?"

'I wish I looked more attractive.'