Cosmetic Surgery Preparation Gifts

Breast Reduction Clinic.

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"No, Doris, not implants!"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

Do you think I'm sixty?

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

Facelift Book.

'Here's the name of my cosmetic brain surgeon. He make you look smarter.'

'You do Botox?'

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

Body Building

Mirror mirror...

'Botox...'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best facelift of them all?

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'