Cosmetic Surgery Consultation Gifts

"Supersize me."

'Here - Pick your nose.'

Plastic surgery clinic - "What are you having done?"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

Do you think I'm sixty?

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

Facelift Book.

'Here's the name of my cosmetic brain surgeon. He make you look smarter.'

'You do Botox?'

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

'Botox...'

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"I'll fill it with Play Doh and no one will ever know the difference."

Mirror mirror...

Body Building

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.