Cosmetic Quackers Pillows

"Betty, we're paying through the nose for that plastic surgery! Just look at that visa and discovery bill!"

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

Inflatable Duck Boat

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Hair spray"

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

Fred questions whether Dr. McWit's Quick Draw Stress Tests are AMA approved.

"It turs out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

'Well you certainly walk like a duck and quack like a duck.'

'What do you think? Edible nail polish.'

Veterinary Clinic. No, it's not a "wading" room.

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Rocks The Vote

Carrie White found a manicurist who makes house calls.

"I haven't slept well since you pointed out that these modeling sessions are a form of betrayal."

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."

'BOTOX...QUICK!

'While you're operating on me, how about throwing in some free liposuction?'

'As you may know, I'll retire in a few weeks but you better not think that I'm a lame duck now!'

Ed's 1 second acupuncture treatment (man holding porcupine).

'i thought I'd held him get rid of his chronic depression . . .'

I like a screw-cap for the convenience, but I like a cork for

Dead ducks

Duck protest march

Garra Fish Pedicure.

Spray on Freckles.

"Please don't call me names because you're feeling down in the mouth."

Doctor to nurse about duck: 'Walks like a duck, looks like a duck, but I need some more quacking tests first.'

'Yes, I can give you lipo-suction and a face-lift, Mrs Gribbs, but I must warn you that it won't change the fact that basically, way deep down and underneath it all, you're really a duck.'

"And now ladies and gentlemen, I will reveal the secret of my success."