Corporate Truth Teller T-Shirts

Business jargon : 'significant negative growth' translated into : 'we are dead broke !'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

'We're looking for impartial people who think the way we do.'

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

Freedom of the press

"So how did the rest of the team respond to your promotion?"

"Miss Jones, bring me into the 21st century..."

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

'Actually, I was hoping for a more inspiring mission statement.'

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

Of course, we have to begin with certain assumptions. Let's assume I'm right and you're wrong.

'I wouldn't worry about the retirement plan. You'd have to be out of your mind to work here that long.'

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"We need to make some cuts. We’ll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"The boss spent the day bouncing ideas off me!"

"I absolutely refuse to be surrounded by yes men, do I make myself perfectly clear?"

You realize, Harris, if you LIVED here, you'd be home by now.

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

'Great visual support.'