Corporate Tax Savant T-Shirts

'You've got a letter from the IRS. It's addressed to Mr. John Gilbert, choice morsel.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

Nuclear generation of energy.

"These latest surveys are very reassuring."

"Up market, down market - he's still the same old curmudgeon."

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"In an unexpected development, the market behaved rationally today."

Reuse it or lose it.

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

'Doesn't bother me. All my money is in carbon-cleanup technologies.'

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

"Trust me, son, if there was a monster under your bed I would have claimed it as a dependent by now."

Company Share Price - "The god news is we've become a very attractive takeover target, sir."

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

Recycle or ruin the planet?

'Now might be a good time to interject the GOOD news to the stockholders!'

'But we spend all our money creating toxic waste. We were hoping someone else would figure out how to detoxify it.'

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

Man climbing line chart, planting profit flag.

'Keep a lid on it!'

Industries with clean energy

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