Corporate Tactics Pillows

'Remember, Henderson - A velvet fist in an iron glove works pretty well, too,'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."