Corporate Tactics Pillows

'Remember, Henderson - A velvet fist in an iron glove works pretty well, too,'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"This position has become very important to the company."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

A fight in the Boardroom.

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'