Corporate Strategist Pillows

"Something about this proposed merger with Wickery Basket Company makes me nervous."

'J.B., there's not enough ROI on the IPO, YTD.'

"As C.E.O., I try to look at the big picture, while J.G., as president, sees to the day-to-day operations."

'I'm confident that with the right mix of role-playing exercises and prescription medication we'll make a cohesive team.'

'Can't you see? This isn't a real offer! They're just tossing us a bone!'

It was the moment of truth, after which they all got back to lying.

'I'd like you to hammer out a win-win agreement in which they lose.'

'So, Smith, how do you feel negotiations are going?'

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

'Right we need an urgent response to our productivity problems...'

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Growth vs Sustainability.

"On the one hand, eliminating the middleman would result in lower costs, increased sales, and greater consumer satisfaction; on the other hand, we're the middleman."

"I think the reason our international unit is performing badly is because our mission statement says 'think locally and act locally'."

'Looks like it's time to screw things up with a major acquisition.'

"There sits the unvarnished truth. Now, how shall we interpret it to our advantage?"

'I have good news and bad news. The problem is, I don't know which is which.'

'Our short term solution is money. Our long term solution is more money.'

'My last comment appeared to be inviting feedback. Do not be fooled.'

"Now he can say he ran it by legal."

"It used to be all about truth and justice. Now, mostly I fight for market share."

'Our core values statement is now official.'

'Risky? Good lord no! We're going to make a fortune!'

'Look, we just need to make a few simple decisions. For once, can we do it without an endless squabble over whether we should take the high road or fly under the radar?'

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

'I second the motion that we keep a low profile.'

"A handshake and a high five - I can't see this merger working."

"What we didn't have but obviously needed was an alarmist."

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

'Find out what he's up to.'

"Finally we have something in common...mutual distrust."

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

"Today's meeting will be endless, with a half-hour break for lunch."

'We were going to define the problem but it was simpler to re-define success.'