Corporate Strategy Enthusiast Pillows

Forget Jones from Reasonable Mistakes, this calls for Phelps from Plausible Excuses NOW!

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

The MBA Draft

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'