Corporate Strategy Enthusiast Pillows

Forget Jones from Reasonable Mistakes, this calls for Phelps from Plausible Excuses NOW!

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"This position has become very important to the company."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

A fight in the Boardroom.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

The MBA Draft

The Solar System (after deregulation)

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'