Business Strategy Aficionado Pillows

Pyramid Scheme: Starter Kit - Includes Triangle Shaped Post-It Notes and Order forms for more kits.

Businessmen absailing down a building.

"Please have a seat Barker. The board have asked me to discuss the latest staff reduction strategy with you."

"Managing change is difficult when most of the team is happy doing things the wrong way!"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

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'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."