Corporate Responsibility Enthusiast Gifts

Previous occupants polluted the groundwater, then moved to another state for a cleaner environment.

The MBA Draft

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'How do we SLEEP at night?'

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

"I appreciate your vision and work ethic but I have a budget. How much would it cost for your vision without work ethics?"

The Female Brain and The Other One

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

Cut directors pay in half and stop all share options - "Right, now, tell me about Plan 'B'."

Johnson and Johnson will pay 572 million for Opioids

'It's not just a job. It's about being part of something bigger than yourself.'

Directors Meetings - Please do not disturb.

"Honestly, doing the right thing is going to be a big change for us."

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. Sorry."

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

'Looks like no cash bonus this year.'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

'I'm not authorized to talk about that...I'll have to patch you through to our department of unspeakable evil.'

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

'Before we start, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'Why yes, the resume is a very important basis for who we hire.'

'I'd rather we don't mention this in the annual report.'

Developing links within business.

Romney: 'Corporations are people! We just pay a lot less taxes than you!'

"Actually, sir, I’ve found that the shortest distance between two points is money."

"My company sells military goods and information to unsavory characters around the world, and donates 100% of our profits to local charities!"

"Now that's power."

'I FEEL YOUR PAIN!'