Corporate Policymaker T-Shirts

'Oh yeah, our people will just fall over themselves to get transferred to this office.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

The Jeopardy of Progress

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

Schengen

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Welcome to the future"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Hate Platforms

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'Let's not go by the book.'

Killer Executive Suits.

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'He lives for his holidays.'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'