Corporate Maze Navigator Gifts

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

"Welcome aboard. By the way, the cubicle setup is maze-like. I suggest downloading a map to the vending machines."

'I'd like to come home... if I could.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

"Uh-Oh..."

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

Well, everything's going great! I guess it's time to bring in the naysayers.

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'The project is a little behind schedule. It was proactive, now it's retroactive.'

The Corporate Rat.

"We're all well aware of the madness, Phipps...where's the method?"

Yin and Yang VPs.

'Sir, Ms. Selby is here for your 3:00 meeting.'

Amega Inc: Established 1991, incorporated 2003, paperless 2008, faceless 2010.

'Since we've remodeled, you are no longer here.'

'I've run your letter through the word processor several times, sir, but it just keeps getting worse.'

'In the corporate world, I'm a survivor.'

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

"O.K. What part of 'malignant regression and pathogenic reintrojection as a defense against psychic decompensation' don't you understand?"

"About the shareholders meeting, ….Have Hayward update me on the smoke and Crampton brief me on the mirrors."

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

'...And how long have you been having these hallucinations that you're seeing a psychiatrist?'

No - what kind of answer is no?

"Don't let it come to a voice vote. We always get screwed."

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

A note of warning, he doesn't suffer wise men gladly

"Who the hell is responsible for this no-blame culture???"

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."